I’ve been brewing on this post for a while, especially after
talking to Laila Shalimar after she released her article in the last Adore
Pinup Magazine, discussing the impacts on body image from pinup online social
media. I guess, I just wanted to share my own thoughts and insights into this,
as well as a bit of my own journey because one thing that is important to me is
keeping it real.
I’ve noticed a lot of the comments I get now are from ladies
online, especially those new to the scene imply perfection….something I very
much am not and something that makes me a little squeamish to receive.
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| Pre-Pinup Me |
Believe it or not, I wasn’t always a pinup. I actually started
my online journey as a weight loss blog! Despite liking the style since my mid teens
I didn’t really work up the courage to actually try it until I was in my early
20s, when I bought a second hand hell bunny dress off ebay at 21. I used to be
a bit of a fashion victim (I really have no head for mainstream fashion) and
after experimenting for 12 months with pinup on weekends, I finally took the
plunge and went my dream hair colour of red and worked on becoming a scarlet
haired pinup. Now, it took a lot longer and was filled with a lot more struggle
than I anticipated.
My early years were filled with a lot of cringe worthy
moments. My first wetset came out like an afro that as so knotted I had to soak
it in the bath before I could wash it. My eyeliner took 3 years to get to
something relativity ‘on fleck’ and to not resemble a single curved texta line
up the side of my eye. I didn’t even know what eyeshadow was til year 3 of
dressing retro (its actually something I’m STILL learning now!). Some of my outfits
also were a major miss and I look back and have to laugh. As a beginner I had
no idea about the varying types of stockings and thought shapewear was a
torture device (how times have changed there!). Why so many bungles? Simple, because I was a
beginner. I think this is something a lot of ladies that come to the “pinup scene”,
whether online or real world overlook. A lot of retro girls have been doing the
style for a number of years and they have it down to an art. One of my favourite
quotes is to not compare your start to someone else’s middle. Remember
literally everyone starts as a beginner. Everyone.
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| One of my first pinup looks |
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| Pinup year 1 |
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| Pinup year 3 |
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| First wetset |
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| Casual day year 2 |
Now at 26, I am I guess what I’d call a more ‘seasoned’
pinup. I’m fortunate enough to work in a job that affords me the ability to
dress how I want (within reason, there are certain things I can’t wear to work
for obvious ‘not being work appropriate’ reasons) and that allows me to
continue my freedom of expression via clothing, I also know this is a luxury
not every woman who likes the style is afforded. Years of working out what
works best for my hair means I have mostly good hair days and I wear retro
makeup daily. I started a blog based around sharing my knowledge of pinup at
the start of last year and it’s taken off more than I ever expected. I do a
fair amount of photo shooting, blogging and collaborating which means my Instagram
is generally full of pretty ootd photos,
mostly good hair days and exciting mail deliveries. Comments from many women
imply they feel I’m living the dream ‘instagram pinup’ life. I have a growing
following, I get to wear great outfits and I do photoshoots.
I do however try and keep it real online. My life is far
from “perfect”. I do live in a nice
apartment with my partner with our small amount of second hand furniture: we began rebuilding our own lives as solo
livers mid this year so we don’t have a lot. Being 26 and living as an adult
means I have to plan and budget my purchases, I can’t just splurge because I
want to. I work my full time job in administration Monday-Friday which involves
an hour a day train commute as well as a half hour round trip walk to and from
the station. I’m very grateful to have my job but it does take up a fair chunk
of my time and as a creative mind I can find it a bit brain numbing at times. Ontop
of this I also have my own small business, Daisy Jean. Small businesses are a
lot of work, more than I think people online really understand. While I dress
pretty during the day for my job, it generally comes off the moment I walk in
the door at home (I don’t want to get craft supplies on my nice things) and my
evenings are mostly spent huddled over my work desk creating new store stock, filling/prepping
orders and working on balancing the websites. With my blogging also being busier
than ever it means nights allocated to creating content (I’m working on some
AWESOME stuff right now!), building my new platform for a change in the new
year and a lot of emails and coordination. My weekends are normally crammed
with not just fitting in photo shoots, stock making, stock runs, spending time
with my man, general domestic duties I didn’t fit during the week and the never
ending list of Adhoc that is the forgotten tasks of my busy life. I often joke
I need a day between Saturday and Sunday just to get everything done!
As those who follow my Instagram know, I talk quite openly
about my anxiety. I developed social anxiety while I was with my ex and it’s
something I still something I battle with. As a result I don’t have much to do
with my local “pinup” scene. I saw its dark underbelly earlier this year when I
became the target of bullying from other small business owners and basically
withdrew. I don’t really have much available time to deal with that sort of
behaviour or tolerance for such childish antics. So I just keep it a bit
distant now days and I’m more selective of the events I attend. In regards to
the online pinup scene, having been in it for quite a while I’ve found a number
of amazing women that I love following. But I know in my own experience I can
often feel left out/not good enough/etc. While ‘pinup’ is viewed as an amazing
body positive movement, it’s not always all body inclusive and as a girl with a
pear shaped figure I often feel I don’t ‘fit’ the image that the scene
idolises. I do work really hard to not let these negative voices get to me, as
I know it’s all crap (my body is fab, weight regardless) but I wanted ladies to
know that even I don’t feel ‘enough’ in pinup at times. That is something I
think all women go through to some degree and that it’s not something you
experience alone. I’ve also found as my ‘popularity’ has increased online as
has the negativity I receive. I don’t post about it but the more visible you
are online, the more of a target you become for people. I’ve seen some pretty
mean stuff happen to women in the scene (both online and local) as well as been
on the receiving end of some myself, some so nit picky I literally couldn’t
believe it. Tall poppy syndrome is very much a thing in the retro scene and this
is something I find really disheartening. I also find it a bit bizarre to be referred to as perfect. For the most part I feel like a pretty regular girl, just like everyone else.
I wanted to wrap up this post with some advice I have for
ladies about pinup. Whether they are in it, new to it, thinking about it or on
their way out of it: just do you! I use this mantra a lot and I apply it to
pinup in my own life. Pinup really is a way of dressing, with a lifestyle
attached that is not necessarily a requirement. All our lives are different, so
make it work for you. If you only do it occasionally, it doesn’t make you any
less of a retro girl. If you dress it all the time it doesn’t make you superior
to anyone else. If you don’t want to do it anymore as it doesn’t fit, that’s not
an issue either. Your goal should always be about working on your own happiness
and your own life rhythm, something unique to you.
Pinup doesn’t fix body image either, which is a notion I’m
seeing in increasing amounts which worries me. It’s not a magic wand waving transformation
that cures all your body woes. But it is what you make it and it can be a great
tool for helping you learn to embrace your body. You are ‘good enough’ from the
start because pinup is all part of the journey. It’s one reason I love it so
much, it’s not stagnant. My style evolves and grows with new things. We all keep
learning new things and that’s one reason it’s so awesome. Please try and focus
on the things you achieve (nailing that eyeliner, getting through a day without
your stockings unclipping, a great wetset, an awesome etsy find) and not the
comparisons that will steal your glory. Remember, another woman’s beauty doesn’t
make you ugly by default. Rejoice in your own unique you.
Sadly, like all ‘scenes’ pinup can be clicky. It’s just a
fact. But you don’t have to be part of a scene just because you dress pinup. I
only had ‘online’ pinup friends for ages before I developed real life ones.
Again, there are no set rules or guidelines for how to pinup socially.
Socialise with who makes you feel good, embrace what works for you and just
keep rocking it. In regards to Tall poppy syndrome change starts with you, so
try and lift others up and in turn you will be lifted. That’s my motto in life
anyway.
I hope you’ve all enjoyed this post and as always I am more
than happy to answer any comments or questions in the comments.
Please ladies know you aren’t alone in this. But also know
you aren’t inferior either. You are all such amazing women, no matter how you
dress or how you look.
